Hello my lovelies!

Well, the time has come. i have a new journal.

I apologize for any inconveniances. But come on, Greatestjournal Rocks you like a stone, admit it.

I was going to do my diet dealy again today, but Brooke's birthday's today so i can't. *shakes ist* all well. She rented a two story community building and it's fifties themed. its gunna be cool. I'm goiing to wear my poodle sjirt from fifth grade (it still fits me.)


[EDIT]

Brooke's party rox0red hardcore. It was me, Meagan, Snow, Chet, Eric, and christo. (and brooke...duh.) I got her a picture frame with a picture of the beatles that says rock and roll legend (it's cooler than it sounds) and this. If you don't get it, you haven't lived. Presenting:

Hey kiddies! Guess what time it is!

Imaginary kids: Taryn Rants about her crazy mother time!

Righto!


So, what, you ask, has my mother done now? well, let's see.

This morning i had theatre rehearsal at 10:00 am. I'm ready to go at 9:30, but my mom's taking her sweet ass time doing her make up. So i get my brother ready, after a bit of an argument (he didn't want to go. he wanted to watch tv). I'm kind enough to get him some pants. I didn't spend an hour picking them out based on what matches, he's a kid, and he's just going to drop me off at school. So I'm trying to get my brother to go, and I walk out of the room , thinking he's right behind me. We wait for a few minutes, then i go back in there to see what's happening, and what do I see? My brother playing with his guns, so i get pissed because i've told him a thousand times to come with me to the car, and i take his guns away and bring him into the kitchen. He starts bawling and my mom asks me what i did to him. I told her he was getting all pissy because i took away his guns and she says "I know his cries Taryn, that's not just dissapointment, that's pain." so she's asking me if i hit him and i keep saying no. Then she says he looks like crap and he needs a matching shirt. So by then it's about ten o'clock, and she starts lecturing me about how even if i'm angry i shouldn't hit a sick child. Then she's yelling one inch away from my face so I push her away and she says How dare I touch her, and she throws me out of the house and locks the door behind me.

I'm outside and by the time my brother wanders out it's about 10:15, and we left at 10:20.  In the car she's going on and on, making it out like i threw my brother against a wall then beat her face in.

So I showed up at rehearsal about 20 minutes late, crying my eyes out.

Nothing like a good mother daughter bonding session to cheer you up.

Okay. either someone's doing fireworks outside, or there's a mass shooting.

Either way, it's annoying.


Okay, time for another episode of "Taryn Comlains about her Body!" YAAAAAAAY!

Thanks to my seventeen magazine *blows kisses to magazine collection* I have a new diet. It says that by only eating 500 calories a day, you can lose a pound a week. Which is ok i suppose. I'm going to do the drinky diety thing again next weekend. And I'm gunna do the seventeen deaky till i find something that works a bit faster. (I'd like to lose at least fifty pounds, But that's not going to happen, so i'd settle for twenty or so. My goal is to fit into my Purple & Black pants. or to Look like Brooke, which ever come first) I'm working out way more than i used to.  And I'm drinking water instead of coke.  And I don't eat my moms sorry exuse of a dinner.

So why should you care? You all probably don't, but here's what i need you all to do. For those of you who know me in real life....

If you see me eating , please politely take it away, AND BEAT ME WITH IT.
Seriously, please don't let me eat any junk, because i have no wheel power and i need y'all to help me.

[EDIT]
wow, I forgot to mention this, shows how much i care.

I'm not mrs. bedwin anymore, i'm Mrs. Sowerberry. Abby came back and everyone was all "OMG Taryn! if you didn't learn your lines, she's giving Abby her part back!"

And I was all "OMFG, it'll be a good day, then!" i HATED that part.

And then Autumn was all "You might be Mrs. Sowerberry if the Bedwin thing doesn't work out. Be warned!"

And I was all "I hate life. must slit wrists."

And Mrs. Wilson was all "Have you learned your lines?"

And I was all "Yes maam."

And she was all "*dissapointed*oh. Abbigail-"

And then i was like "SHECANHAVETHEPARTIFSHEWANTS!!!!"

And mrs. wilson was like "alright, then your mrs. sowerberry."

And I was all. "Life, you son of a bitch, you've done it again!"

This parts not as bad though. I play a bit of a bitch, which isn't as much of a stretch as a lovable maid.
Its not near as bad. GOD I hated that bedwin part. it's mostly why i didn't want to go to theatre practice.

Wow.....I was Xanga Surfing the Conan O'Brien Blogring....it makes me feel like a bad fan. Now I feel the need to make a conan Layout....

ALTERNATIVE!

I could make a conan fansite section of Beautifully Random (which will get up...someday)

BWAHAHA!

*does  a little dance* lost 5 pounds so far.  And I'm not even hungry. And i'll have some left over so i can do it again sometime.


I am so dreading tomorrow. We have theatre rehearsal even though we don't start school untill the sixth. Why did i have to get a better part the ONE time i wanted to be an extra? DAMN YOU IRONY! You mock me!? *shakes fist threatningly*

I should probably memorize my lines. I hate acting. I hate theatre. *slams head on desk*

The Shipping meme!!!

One True Pairing Ship:

Ron/Draco I know it makes me a sick bastard, but it's damn hot.

Canon Ship:

I love Author/Molly's relationship

"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship:

Ron/Hermione I HATE This ship! HATE HATE HATE! It's sick, and wrong, and god a ireally hope that Mrs. Rowling doesn't go through with it.


"You are one sick bastard" Ship:

Teacher/Student Ships, and any incest ships. Incest? That's fucking sick. How the hell can anyone find incest sweet or a turn on?

"I dabble a little" Ship:

A bit of Draco/Ginny's alright

"It's like a car crash" Ship:

Harry/Draco, i don't think they'd be compatible. And yeah i know, this coming from the RxD girl, but you have to understand that in a lot of those fics Ron is dark.

Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" Ship:

Draco/Ginny

"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" Ship:

Ron/Draco, I know it will never ever happen in the books.....

"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:

Straight Pairings in Fanon. I have no problem with them, but i don't set out to read them

"When all is said and done" Ship:

Taryn/Ron/Draco

....oh HELL yes

The "Be Very Afraid" Ship:

Sirius/Lupin

um....no.

Guilty Pleasure Ship:

I think Neville/Luna is adorable

"I can't believe I read it and liked it" Ship:

Hermione/Draco

Favorite older/younger Ship:

Ron/Taryn

Ron is older than me....

So I'm on this diety thing where you don't eat for two day, you just drink this juice stuff....

Let me tell you, it does not taste like "blackberry burst". *gags*

And before anyone gets all "those aren't healthy for you etc etc etc" i have been eating far less than i used to and actually excersising.
 
Yah see, I've been overweight since second grade, I weighed 120 pounds then. I kept the same weight until fifth grade when i got up to 130. seventh grade i was one fifty, and somewhere between eigth and now....I've become 2 fucking hundred poulds. That was my fucking wake up call.

Alot of people forget that compulsive eating/ binge eating is also an eating disorder. They tell them to quit whining and stop ewating, but that's like telling an anorexic person to just eat, or telling a cutter to stop cutting. People with eating disorders have different reasons for developing them, some Stop eating because of a fear of gaining wait, some eat as a way to cope. Now when i was in second grade i was just eating because it tasted good, but i think somewhere along the line it became a crutch for me. i have one hell of a shitty family life, most of which comes from my insane-voice-hearing-government-out-to-get-me-mother. Yeah I'm finally fucking saying it because i'm tired of hiding it. Why should I keep secrets for a women that i despise?

My mother hears voices. She thinks the government uses them on people on welfare as a way of punishment, and that every twenty years they do it to everybody. She thinks they control you moods....Not just hers. she think's everybody has it.

So There.

Yeah....One of my resolutions was to be more honest about what's going on in my life. I think i'm doing that succefully so far. I tend to Hide a lot of shit, and tell bits and peices to differnt friends, partly because i don't want one to have power over me. See, I have lots of mental issues. I am not going to lie about that. I'm extremely Paranoid, and dependant. (so when i say "don't leave me! I'm Dependat!" I'm serious.) I HATE being alone. BEcause when I'm alone I start to thing about everything. I overanalize too much. I'll replay a conversation in my head over and over again, trying to see whether or not this means he was bored that means he hates me etc etc etc. It got so bad i had to listen to music when I sleep so that i can drown out the thoughts.

That's enough honesty for one post.

Good Riddance.



[EDIT]

I'm debating on whether or not i should start a blog on a differnt server. (Liverjournal/blurty/myspace etc)

Because it seems like they have more of a community, you know?

Please give me your thoughts

[EDIT 2]

Ok, I am Fed up with all these manufactured painted up whores. What the hell kinda of an excuse for entertainment is a bunch of Sluts?

So call this my resolution, if you want, but this is it:

I will do something to change this.

I am not being egocentric, honest to god, but i think what America needs is someone like me. I'm not pretty, I don't wear revealing clothes, I don't have the perfect body, And I wouldn't wiggle my ass around like an idiot.

I know what it feels like to look at the media and see nothing but perfect bodies and perfect faces and wish to be like them. So that's why i want to be a star. To show it's not about all that shit, although, unfortunately, by now it is.
</Rant>

and what the hell, Conan's suppose to do a central time zone countdown....it's 11:58.....

I was having an interesting dream last night. the first part was a bunch of spiderman stuff. But fastfoward to us going hom to our like...killer mansion. (Spiderman is my...Dad....but i was adopted.) And then he says we have to go to church and I'm like "...I've never been. do I have to go? I wouldn't know what to do." and he's all "Yeah." Bastard! So we go, and he's catholic so i have no idea what the hell I'm doing. There was like this cookie ritual thing (because *everything* in catholosicm starts with a C...seriously.) and then we're like outside but it's my reular family. THere's like a partiotion wall and on the other side and i look over, who do i see?

B I L L I E   J O E


then mike comes over and he said something to me...don't remember what it is. So we were like beating each otehr up (in a playful way though.) and i kept waiting for billie to come over but he never did. Then My Aunt Val Let me have alcohol and all was well.. Then i woke up and realized it was a dream. DAMNIT


My mom got me a new bedspread. it's like silky and purple. and so i was lying in it and thinking "hey! silk sheets! that's just begging for sex." and so then i was like running and jumping on my bed and sliding off the end. "(...leave me alone.) and then when i was actually trying to go to sleep i kept falling out of my bed. and i thought "damn...how can people have sex without sliding off and out the window?" that's how i think. ^_^


[EDIT]

So, If you don't know already, Brooke has been stalking lafeemachente, a fanfic writer. well...more like reading her journal and talking about her all the time. same thing. So I went to thevery beginning and started reading her journal too so that i'll have some idea of what brooke is always goping on about. And i have to admit the chick is super fly. I found this on her site:



so please stop the ship wars, and realize that Draco and Ron WILL end up with each other. ok people? *flinches and waits for the barage of tomoatoes and asorted fruit*

Another thing I found on her site was  her top five list of Men, which i think i shall do now.

Number 5: Jack McFarlen


(on the left) He pretty much represents my love for gay guys period. but I have a fondness for jack especially because of his relationship with karen, who is my role model,. beleive it or not. (oh...and isn't it strange? who's that next to him? *cough*OMGDAVESEZZYROCKONCANADA!*cough*

Number 4: Billie Joe

don't even pretend like you didn't see that one coming. and he's in a sweater! *pinches his ickle cheek*

Number 3: Jhonen Vasquez


Ok, This man is a Genius, and if you *don't* know who he is, you have not lived. He is the creator of Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, I Feel Sick, and SQUEE! (no...that's not enthusiasm...that's the name). And he dyes his hair. (Hair is the first thing i see when i look at a guy.) He is GOD.

Number 2: Conan O'Brien.

he was uber close to getting number one, but well...he didn't. It's the age thing that held him back probably. But in my world age isn't a big thing...obvious by my choices. anyway... Conan O'Brien hosts Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He's written for SNL, the simpsons, and other shows. He dyes his hair red (it's strawberry blond and for awhile he dyed it straight red. he's let up though). He's HILARIOUS, and he's pale. =^_^=

and...
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RONALD WEASLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I mean....Damn. What more could you ask for?

I do have pictures that are closer to how i see him...but they're slash art and not everyone's into that, so there. and i didn't want to put a picture of rupert grint cuz he ain't ron, he's hot, but he aint ron.

ok, Ron Weasley is a character from the harry potter books, and my boyfriend. We've known each other since fith grade and started going out last year. (i beg you to not burst my bubble) He's thin, tall, pale, funny, redhead....basically a legal version of Conan O'Brien.




oh...and if there's another spot open, these guys definitely win: