So I'm on this diety thing where you don't eat for two day, you just drink this juice stuff....
Let me tell you, it does not taste like "blackberry burst". *gags*
And before anyone gets all "those aren't healthy for you etc etc etc" i have been eating far less than i used to and actually excersising.
Yah see, I've been overweight since second grade, I weighed 120 pounds then. I kept the same weight until fifth grade when i got up to 130. seventh grade i was one fifty, and somewhere between eigth and now....I've become 2 fucking hundred poulds. That was my fucking wake up call.
Alot of people forget that compulsive eating/ binge eating is also an eating disorder. They tell them to quit whining and stop ewating, but that's like telling an anorexic person to just eat, or telling a cutter to stop cutting. People with eating disorders have different reasons for developing them, some Stop eating because of a fear of gaining wait, some eat as a way to cope. Now when i was in second grade i was just eating because it tasted good, but i think somewhere along the line it became a crutch for me. i have one hell of a shitty family life, most of which comes from my insane-voice-hearing-government-out-to-get-me-mother. Yeah I'm finally fucking saying it because i'm tired of hiding it. Why should I keep secrets for a women that i despise?
My mother hears voices. She thinks the government uses them on people on welfare as a way of punishment, and that every twenty years they do it to everybody. She thinks they control you moods....Not just hers. she think's everybody has it.
So There.
Yeah....One of my resolutions was to be more honest about what's going on in my life. I think i'm doing that succefully so far.

I tend to Hide a lot of shit, and tell bits and peices to differnt friends, partly because i don't want one to have power over me. See, I have lots of mental issues. I am not going to lie about that. I'm extremely Paranoid, and dependant. (so when i say "don't leave me! I'm Dependat!" I'm serious.) I HATE being alone. BEcause when I'm alone I start to thing about everything. I overanalize too much. I'll replay a conversation in my head over and over again, trying to see whether or not this means he was bored that means he hates me etc etc etc. It got so bad i had to listen to music when I sleep so that i can drown out the thoughts.
That's enough honesty for one post.